Michael De Santa VS. John Wick | B&B BATTLE BLOGS!

Hi everyone, Ninetails here. 

So, remember Hino vs Oni, where I talked about being in the hospital? Yeah, so, some updates about that. First of all, generally speaking I’m doing okay health-wise now. I was discharged after a few days, I’m on medication, that sort of thing. To avoid getting into TMI territory, I have a chronic illness that affects my intestinal lining, and I had really bad swelling inside that was causing a blockage. Could have been a lot worse, but thankfully I went to the hospital the same day it started.

All that said, I wish I could say everything is fine, but it’s not. Because we live in a capitalist hellscape, I now owe over 3000 dollars to the hospital for my stay there. That isn’t exactly something I can just pay out of pocket, so I’ve set up a patreon for anyone who wants to help with the monthly payment plan. Joining means you get access to an exclusive discord, voting on monthly character blogs, and you can be on the blog for voting and research. Also, I’ll draw your OCs for another 5 dollars. Not really sure what people would expect from it besides that, but at this point I’m just kinda looking for any way to help mitigate this.

https://www.patreon.com/c/bnbblogs 

If you can contribute any amount, it really helps. I’m really sorry to ask for this sort of thing, but medical emergencies are an absolute fuck, and this country hates disabled people.

Sorry for the serious talk, everyone. Just keep that in mind, and I’ll let Y’all get to the blog now, thanks. 

“I guess sometimes the past just catches up to you, whether you want it to or not.”

-Paul Edgecomb

Michael De Santa, the mastermind of Los Santos.

John Wick, the High Table’s worst nightmare.

They say one can never truly escape their past. Whatever you might do, it always catches up eventually, and that couldn’t be more true for these two hardened killers. Even when they got out of the game to be with their families, the world they left behind was always just one chance meeting away from rearing its head once more. God knows if they’ll ever find peace, but until then, they’re more than prepared for war. But when these two go head to head, which one will finally put the other down?

Time to find out, on B&B Battle Blogs!

Before we Begin…

For Michael De Santa, we of course are focusing on Grand Theft Auto V and Grand Theft Auto Online as the primary sources, given those are the games he appears in. We’ll also be looking at other games in the HD timeline, including GTA IV, Episodes from Liberty City, and GTA: Chinatown Wars.

Meanwhile, for John Wick, we of course looked at all four movies in the main series, as well as its spinoff film Ballerina and prequel series The Continental, the Prequel comics John Wick: The Book of Rules, and the video game John Wick Hex.

Special thanks goes to:

• Rockstar Games for creating the Grand Theft Auto series.

• Derek Kolstad and Keanu Reeves for bringing the John Wick series to life.

• VS Battles Wiki (For Calculations)

• G1's James Bond VS. John Wick Blog

• The IMFDB, for help figure out what weapons John Wick has used.

So, without further ado, let’s begin!

Background

Michael De Santa

“I'm just a fat washed-up jock who can't get his head around the fact his high school football career didn't play out the way that he planned. The only way I'm content and competent is with a gun in my hand or a price on my head.”

Michael did not have a luxurious life growing up. Born in the American Midwest under the name Michael Townley, he would live in a trailer park with the rest of his family. He would try to make the best with what he had, joining the football team in high school and actually having a pretty lucrative sports career from it, but he was unable to go pro due to his temperament, and how prone he was to injury. On top of this, his father, and eventually his mother, would both abandon him, leaving him homeless before he was even an adult. With few opportunities left, he would have to find, and make, opportunities of his own. 

It wouldn’t take long before Michael resorted to a life of crime. By the time he was twenty, he had robbed his first bank in Carcer City, taking a cool 10,000 dollars. He smuggled dope, he became a pimp, selling out girls for a little extra cash, and by the time he was twenty he had already been in prison twice. With every crime he would hone his craft, becoming more meticulous and professional, and with the help of Lester Crest, who would become his guy in the chair, and some other acquaintances he hired, he would become a notorious thief along the Midwest. There was just one thing missing…

Enter Trevor Phillips. Originally met during the middle of a job, Michael’s first interaction with Trevor was watching him blow a man’s head off with a flare gun. After they both disposed of the body, Michael realized that Trevor’s unique brand of violence was just the thing he needed. Besides, they seemed to work well together. So, he offered Trevor to work for him, and take him under his wing as they navigated the criminal underworld. They would go from town to town, becoming notorious in the Midwest for both their well executed heists, and, well, Trevor’s reckless acts of murder in broad daylight. They could never stay in one place for very long, but they got into a routine, and it seemed like this would be their life for the foreseeable future.

Until Michael met her. Amanda was a woman he met at a strip club, and quickly he fell in love with her. The feelings were, seemingly, mutual, as the two would inevitably get together and have two children, named Jimmy and Tracey. They would live in a trailer park in the Midwest, and suddenly Michael realized there could be more to his life than chaos, crime, and violence. He was starting to have things, have people, he really cared about. He was starting to think of a way out, but he knew Trevor wouldn’t like that. Fearful that his partner would hurt his family, Michael would plan a way to get rid of him. 

In a small town of North Yankton, they would perform another bank heist. In this small town, there was an overwhelming police response, and as they began to leave, a bullet had taken down one of their associates, Brad, and another bullet took down Michael Townley. Trevor was the only one that was able to get away, leaving both to die in the cold snow of North Yankton.

But Michael Townley wasn’t dead, and that bullet was never meant for Brad. Before the heist in North Yankton, Michael had made an agreement with an FIB agent named Dave Norton; they would plot a scenario where they would kill Trevor and Brad, and keep Michael alive. Michael and his family would live a safe life free from Trevor, and Dave would get the prestige of taking down the most notorious bank robbers in the Midwest. Though the plan went awry, Dave stuck to his end of the bargain. Michael Townley died that day, and Michael de Santa was born.

In the town of Los Santos, Michael had everything. He would have continuous checks given to him by Dave Norton, allowing for a lavish lifestyle. He had a pool, a tennis court, cleaning ladies and gardeners. He should have been happy; he got out scot free, but he couldn’t be. He was cynical, pessimistic. His family hated him for upending their lives and generally being a bum after the situation in North Yankton. Michael was prepared to take the negativity and chaos of his family life. After all, it beat being what he used to be.

…but that life would never leave him alone.

His new journey in life would start with a young man named Franklin trying to steal his son’s car. Things would spiral from that point on. His temperament gets the better of him and he becomes in debt to a dangerous cartel leader, Martin Madrazo, and to pay it off, he had to do something he thought he left behind for good; rob a jewelry store. After reconnecting with Lester, casing a joint, and enacting the heist alongside Franklin, he thought that was the end of it, but the life he tried to escape just kept following him, never letting him rest.

Trevor was also in Los Santos, and when word of the jewelry store heist came around, he would quickly connect it to Michael and hunt down the man he mourned all those years ago. At the same time, Dave Norton would also come along after Michael’s activity at the jewelry store and make some demands of his own. Michael’s quiet, if depressing, retirement life had suddenly been upended, as he would become involved with the FIB, billionaire Devin Weston, and the Chinese Triad.

Michael and Trevor’s tense relationship would come to a head when Trevor found out Michael’s secret; North Yankton was always a setup. Brad was dead, and Trevor realized that Michael was the one to orchestrate the whole thing, wanting to kill him in the first place. The two fought, and went their separate ways, leading to Michael getting kidnapped by the Chinese Triad. Though the two of them had their differences, they would eventually meet back up and team up to work on The Big One. The Union Depository. Something they had talked about for years.

Even after stealing millions of dollars from the Union Depository, they would still have a problem; they had too many loose ends. Gangsters tried to kill Franklin and his friend Lamar, the Triad were still on their ass, the FIB had dirt on them, and Devin Weston was never going to let them live in peace as long as he was alive. So, in one night, the three had to do the impossible. They teamed up, assassinated those that would threaten them, stuffed Devin Weston into the trunk of a car, and threw him off a cliff. Now, finally, with every loose end tied up, Michael, Trevor and Franklin could live a peaceful life, away from the chaos, if even for a little bit.

Michael would get a job at Vinewood, doing the thing he loved most; making movies alongside his favorite director, Solomon Richards. It was his new calling, and though his movies weren’t good, he loved doing the job. Along the way, he had managed to regain the respect of his wife and his children. Trevor was no longer looking to kill him and Franklin, the young man he took under his wing, was in a good spot in life.

Maybe he couldn’t escape the life he lived fully. Maybe the past would always come back to haunt him, one way or another, but it was his past that led him to live a happier life now than he ever had trying to avoid it. Michael Townley was dead, but Michael de Santa could finally have his Vinewood-esque happy ending.

John Wick

“When Helen died, I lost everything. Until that dog arrived on my doorstep... A final gift from my wife. In that moment, I received some semblance of hope... an opportunity to grieve unalone... And your son took that from me. Stole that from me. Killed that from me! People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back. So you can either hand over your son or you can die screaming alongside him!”

The world is full of criminals. The underbelly of society holds some of the most ruthless people to have ever lived. Trained gunmen, crime lords, drug and weapons dealers, and those who would kill to get further ahead in life. All of these people work under the table, but they don’t work in chaos. There are rules to follow, certain guidelines that one must adhere to in order to live this lifestyle, all enforced by the High Table. It’s the world of crime, of murder, a world filled with the toughest, deadliest men you’ve ever seen.

And then there’s John Wick.

Born in Belarus, John Wick had a life that was always rooted in crime. He would first join the Russian criminal organization, the Ruska Roma. These people would be the ones who took care of John and, more importantly, taught him how to be a killer. Under the care of the Russians, John would learn the skills needed to become a master assassin, under the watchful eye of a lady known only as The Director. The Ruska Roma could only keep him for so long, though, and eventually he would go freelance, and then turn around to join the Tarasov Mob.

Over his time in the criminal world, John Wick would begin to develop a reputation. An infamous reputation at that. His efficiency, skill, and sheer determination to get the job done no matter the circumstances had caused his name to be whispered in every corner under the table. They didn’t just respect the man, they feared him, and in time John would be given another name; Baba Yaga. The boogeyman, but to them he wasn’t just the boogeyman. He was the guy you sent to kill the boogeyman. Even before he even thought of retiring, John Wick’s name was becoming somewhat of a staple in the criminal underground.

Then, he met her. Her name was Helen, and John fell madly in love with her. He wanted to be with her, to be her husband and to finally live a peaceful life. It was something he never thought he’d have, but with Helen, he realized there was a chance. She wanted him to be happy, at peace. To John, Helen was his way out; the one thing that could stop Baba Yaga, and let him live out the rest of his days as John Wick. He went to the Tarasovs and asked them to let him go, but they would only allow it under one condition; he must complete a task that all deemed impossible. If he did it in a single night, he would be free from this world of crime. It was deemed impossible…

But nothing is impossible for the Boogeyman. In a single night, he wiped out all of Tarasov’s rivals and secured his passage away from this criminal underworld. He could finally be with his wife, and together they would stay… for five years. Helen contracted a lethal illness, and would shortly after die, leaving John with only her picture and a puppy to remember her by. For a while, John was lost, but he was safe. He wasn’t happy, but he could maybe learn to adapt. He had a car that he loved, and a dog to take care of. It wasn’t so bad.

…until it got worse. The son of Viggo Tarasov, wanting to steal his car, broke into John’s house, stole his car, and killed his dog. Unknowingly to the thugs who robbed him, this would start a chain reaction that would lead to mass bloodshed on the streets of New York City. John wanted revenge, and in doing so he left a trail of bodies in his wake, until he killed the leader of the Tarasov mob, and the man who killed his dog. This would only be the start of his problems, though.

John Wick was, unfortunately, back in business. This caught the attention of an old contact, Santino D’antonio, who John owed a favor. That favor would be killing Santino’s sister, the leader of highly prolific crime syndicate, and a part of the High Table, who oversaw all goings on in the criminal underworld. Though John accepted (though not before getting his house blown up) and completed this task, Santino turned his sights into John, and sought to kill him, too. Once more, John was on the hunt for revenge, ready to kill his new target.

The bodies kept piling up, and John wouldn’t get out of it unscathed, but after fighting through armed guards and assassins, he would hunt Santino and chase him down to Continental grounds before killing him then and there. However, this was a cardinal sin as far as the High Table is concerned, and in retaliation John Wick would be declared Excommunicado, cutting him off from any services that were monitored by the High Table, and putting a bounty worth millions of dollars on his head. It was all John could try to do to clear his name.

The piles of bodies kept building, and the injuries grew. It culminated in one final standoff at the Continental Hotel, teaming up with the hotel’s owner, Winston, and the staff hand Charon. Though John would successfully fight off the High Table, he wouldn’t know peace. Winston was quick to betray him for his own gang, and shot John once given the chance, causing him to fall from the full height of the Continental. Though they thought he was dead, John Wick lived, and he was pissed, and he would keep fighting. Just like he always had.

Maybe John will never truly know peace after his wife died. Maybe the life he lived could never truly leave him be. Perhaps a man of his talents can only keep returning and returning, despite how badly he wants to break free of this life. No matter what happens, though, no matter the conclusions, there’s one thing you can be certain of; John Wick is a man of focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will, and if you anger him? You won’t live long enough to make the same mistake twice. 

Skill & Experience

Michael

 

“I've been in this game for a lot of years. I got out alive, that makes me the right age.”

Michael had started his crime spree at a young age, and because of that he has decades worth of experience under his belt. His run in the Midwest made him one of the most notorious criminals in that part of the country, to the point that the one who “took down” Michael Townley, Dave Norton, was immediately promoted and given a cushy job in the FIB. You don’t get that kind of reputation by being a slouch. He worked a lot in his early career, and mastered his accuracy and gun skills in the meantime.

There’s also the various shoot outs that he gets involved in during the game. Over the course of the series he gets involved with other criminals like the Chinese Triad and the Ballas, who tried to kill Frankling and Lamar. He even got involved with government entities and organizations, most notably the FIB and the Los Santos Police Department, all of which have competent members of their team who Michael, alongside Trevor and Franklin, just mow down like their nothing. The most impressive opponent they’ve gone up against was likely the Merryweather Security, a mercenary group that has been hired for odd jobs all around Los Santos, and was sent to kill Michael’s family by Devin Weston. Even these elite operatives were taking down quickly by Michael and his friends.

Michael’s actual shooting stats are, evidently, impressive, with his shooting stat being the highest at the game start and it’s implied that, out of all the player characters, he’s the best shot of any of them. Not only does he excel in gunplay, but he is also very good at planning his heists. He and Trevor, over the course of the game, work on multiple heists in order to rob locations such as the Union Depository and the bank in Sandy Shores. While Trevor has also shown this level of planning, despite his deranged mental state, it’s been stated that Michael, alongside Lester, were the ones that often came up with the better plans. Michael has made a whole career evading the cops, and it’s clear that even in his older age, his skill in the matter has not waned in the slightest.

Michael has often been able to get himself out of extreme situations, or perform well when he’s otherwise at a disadvantage compared to his adversaries, such as when he took on an entire group of Triad members on his own with nothing but a pistol, or when he had to accurately hit shots while hanging upside down, after being beat and tortured. He’s been able to accurately hit shots while dangling hundreds of feet into the air, while holding another man, and has fended off armed mercenaries from his home without them hurting a single one of his family members. Michael is practically a one man army in his own right.

Wick

"Well, John wasn't exactly the boogeyman. He was the one you sent to kill the f*cking boogeyman."

It’s honestly difficult to even try and exaggerate John’s skill. In a world of trained assassins, dangerous men and what feels like every other person on the city streets looking out to kill you, John Wick is genuinely considered just above all of them, and this shows time and time again. When it comes to his gunplay, he is phenomenal, able to take out opponents in clean and concise shots, often not letting a single bullet miss or go to waste. He has enough knowledge of guns that he can put one together in a minute while being chased down by assassins.

Even when John’s found himself underarmed, he’s an expert at using the environment to his advantage as well. When he was being chased down by a group of assassins, he ducked into an antique shop, using the knives in the display cases as his weapon to take out every single one of them with expert precision. In fact, he’s so precise that he can even perform surgery on himself to stitch up his own wounds. Just about everything in John’s arsenal is a weapon that he can use to take someone’s life, from the belt he wears around his waist, to a book he grabs offhandedly, or even a pencil. He killed three men in a bar with A fucking pencil!  This is something that’s happened twice!

As far as the people John has defeated, almost all of them are assassins of a similar caliber. He’s cleared his home from invading henchmen, armed with only a pistol and not letting a single person get a shot on him. He’s gone through swarms of Tarasov Mob men, leaving their bodies in his wake, gone through entire buildings of hostile forces and come out on top, and has gone through the entirety of New York City with a massive bounty on his head, causing just about every assassin to come at him in an attempt to kill him. Even when the high table sent in a trained squad with bulletproof armor, Wick still got the upper hand and killed them all.

John Wick is a quiet bastard, too. His stealth is downright ridiculous, and he’s been able to get the jump on all sorts of trained fighters and mercenaries who tried to kill him. In the third movie he has on multiple occasions disappeared from plain sight, having only a moment or two to leave someone’s vision and go unnoticed. This is particularly impressive when you consider the main villain of the movie, Zero. He’s a master ninja who originally was doing stuff like this to John, only for Wick to turn the tables on him and sneak away from his sight, blending into crowds or even getting behind Zero in a moment of darkness.

Equipment 

Michael

Guns

No GTA game is complete without a whole arsenal of weapons to make yourself feel like a badass, and GTA V is the best when it comes to giving one to you. Not only is there an expansive list of weapons you can pull from, but GTA V is different from the others in that you can carry all of these weapons on you at once, unlike other games where you could only pick one weapon of each type. This gives Michael an absolutely massive arsenal to cover, and to save on space and to make sure this blog isn’t too bloated, instead of giving each weapon their own individual entries, we’ll be grouping them into categories and listing them off from there.

Pistols

A criminal is never complete without their pistol. Compact but deadly, these weapons should be your go-to when your main firearm is out of ammo. GTA V offers an impressive nine different pistols for Michael to carry around. It should be noted just about all of these guns can be fit with flashlights and suppressors, so I’ll only mention attachments if there’s anything unique about them outside of these two. That being said, the guns are as follows:

Pistol: The standard handgun which every other handgun is either and upgrade or side-grade of afterwards. Decent accuracy, decent damage, with only twelve rounds in the mag with the ability to upgrade it to sixteen. Not exactly a powerhouse, but it would get the job done. 

AP Pistol: As the name might imply, this pistol is an Armor Penetrating pistol, which is fully automatic and notably shoots at a higher power than most of the other pistols in the game. The gun carries eighteen bullets, but is capable of being upgraded up to thirty-six.

Combat Pistol: Surprisingly this is one of the weapons that Michael holds the most when he’s not influenced by the player. Maybe he has a favorite. The combat pistol is a basic upgrade over the ordinary pistol, with better accuracy and a bit more power behind the bullets, but it doesn’t have much else compared to some of the other handguns. It has a twelve round magazine, which can be upgraded to sixteen.

Heavy Pistol: This one really packs a punch compared to the other weapons, but what it gains in high damage it compensates with an increase in recoil and, because of this, a slower effective firerate. It’s also only good at short to medium distances, meaning that targets further away might get away with taking some injuries from this thing. Like the AP pistol, it has an eighteen round mag with an upgraded capacity of thirty-six.

Marksman Pistol: A single shot weapon coming straight out of the 18th century, this pistol makes up for a lack of ammo capacity and attachments with insane damage, being able to oneshot anything in the game no matter where you hit it. Its damage is even capable of exceeding that of sniper rifles, if we take the game's stats into consideration. Of course, the main issue is that you’re going to be reloading for a long time after you shoot, so you have to make the shots count. 

Pistol .50: As you’d probably expect, this gun holds .50 caliber rounds, meaning that it’s going to pack an insane punch. That being said, the recoil on this thing is going to be extremely high, and all that power comes with a tradeoff of having very little ammo. The gun naturally only carries nine bullets, with extended mags taking that up to a measly twelve, but the amount of bullet you’re carrying don’t really matter when one shot should kill most things, huh?

SNS Pistol: A Saturday Night Special, this weapon prides itself on both being cheap and not very good at all. It can only hold six rounds in the mag, with extended mags doubling it to a mere twelve, and it’s weaker than most of the other pistols in the game. It’s meant to be cheap, so you get what you pay for, but unfortunately what you pay for is a bad gun.

Stun Gun: While normally you’d think this would be a non-lethal option, it’s actually anything but. This stun gun shocks the poor target with thousands of volts of electricity, forcing them onto the ground and, in most cases, killing them shortly after. Guess Los Santos kinda sucks to live in if even stun guns will do more than stun. The gun’s main issue is that its range is rather pitiful, being only better than some melee weapons in the game, so don’t think you’re going to be sniping anyone with this.

Vintage Pistol: An oldie from the 1900s, this is when you want to relive the good old days. It does decent damage and has alright accuracy, but it’s base magazine only carries seven shots, barely above the SNS pistol. The extended mags bump it up to fourteen, but there’s only so much you can do for a gun this old. At least it does good damage, though, and you’ll look good while using it.

Shotguns

Everyone loves a good boomstick. When you want the guy closest to you to be dead as fast as possible, you pull out the shotgun, pull the trigger and watch the blood and gore splatter everything around you (and probably you, too). The shotguns, besides two that I’ll mention later, are all capable of being upgraded with a suppressor, a flashlight, and a grip, the latter of which improves accuracy and stability. GTA V has six shotguns in the game, and they are as follows:

Pump Shotgun: A classic weapon, used by everyone from the common street thugs to the boys in blue in Los Santos, this weapon is what you want in close quarters combat. Every other shotgun is either better than this or is a sidegrade ultimately, but sometimes you just can’t beat old reliable. The pump shotgun holds eight shells, and unlike other shotguns, it can’t be upgraded with a Grip or an extended magazine. Still, it does good damage, and by the time you use eight shots, everything else should already be dead anyways.

Sawed-Off Shotgun: It’s like a shotgun, but shorter. A shortgun? Anyways, this thing is basically just a pump shotgun with less range and more power behind it. Even the ammo counter is about the same. It’s a good boomstick, if that’s what you’re looking for, but it’s lack of attachments mean that what you see is what you get.

Bullpup Shotgun: A shotgun that has less damage but makes up for it with its range and ammo capacity, holding six more shots than the normal pump shotgun. It can also just hit at a further distance. Good for when you want to pack a punch, but punch people from further away. I’m sure we’ve all been in that scenario.

Heavy Shotgun: What makes it so heavy compared to the other shotguns? Might be due to the fact it fires slugs instead of buckshot, making its range even better than that of the bullpup shotgun. Not only that, but its ammo capacity is absurd, with it having a drum mag attachment allowing for thirty shots in the barrel. This means that most things are going to die before reloading is even an issue, especially if you’re accurate enough with your shots. 

Assault Shotgun: A fully automatic shotgun with an extended clip of 32 bullets, this thing is going to turn most people into swiss cheese the moment you turn the barrel their way. No need to worry about pesky things like pumping the gun or pulling the trigger constantly. Just press down on that trigger and let your worries melt away. From all the bullets hitting their flesh, that is.

Musket: Okay so like I don’t think this should be classified as a shotgun but it’s what the game wants so who really cares. Anyways, this gun is from the revolutionary war. It fires one powerful bullet before going through a lengthy reloading process. The good news is that a musket is probably going to kill anything it comes across. The bad news is it does not come with an attachable bayonet.

Machine Guns

Does pressing the trigger down all the time tire you out? Well worry not, the machine guns will fix that up for you. Being (mostly) lightweight and with high magazine capacity, these things will mow down your enemies with a simple squeeze of the trigger. Like most weapons in the game, these things can be equipped with flashlights and suppressors, and most of them can even be equipped with scopes for more accuracy. GTA V has eight machine guns in total. These are:

SMG: The standard gun that everything else upgrades from. There isn’t much to say about this thing; it’s a pretty standard fully automatic weapon with low damage and it has some ineffective range once your opponent gets further away. The fun part is that with the drum magazine attachment, you can get a whopping one hundred rounds in this thing, meaning you won’t have to worry about reloading basically ever.

Micro SMG: Like a normal SMG, but smaller. This is mainly meant for drive-by's or close range combat, but even then this thing does less damage than even the normal SMG. Its main benefit is how compact and portable it is, allowing for it to potentially be one handed. It also has a horribly low magazine size, with the max being thirty bullets. Just gets outclassed by many other guns.

Machine Pistol: I don’t know why this isn’t in handguns, but it is a good machine gun! It does the second most damage out of any gun in its category, however it suffers from a max of thirty bullets in its mag like the micro SMG. On top of that, it’s incapable of modifying it with a scope, the only attachment available being a suppressor, which you likely wouldn’t want or need in the first place. Still, a lot of damage in a small package. Not a lot to hate here.

Assault SMG: With a sixty round extended clip, this thing packs more punch than a lot of machine guns, but the trade off is that it has a slower firing rate. This gun, however, doesn’t decrease in power with range, unlike many of the other guns in the game. That means this gun excels when using its maximum range, allowing it to snipe at enemies as long as they aren’t too far away. Every gun has its niche, I suppose.

MG: Can’t have a more simple name than that. This gun comes with an extended mag of a hundred bullets, but it has a slow fire rate compared to other automatic weapons. It has good damage as well, but there are other weapons that outclass it, as you would expect with a game like this. Still, hard to say no to a gun with a hundred bullets in the mag. Watch out for the recoil, though, as this gun suffers more than other machine guns with that. 

Combat MG: So I guess the other MG wasn’t meant for combat? Well, at least, the combat MG is far more suited for it, as it has an astonishing two hundred rounds when using the extended mags attachment, and on top of that deals more damage than the MG and any SMG or Assault Rifle in the game. This gun, unsurprisingly, does not come with a suppressor. You’re going to be loud and proud with this thing, with the only drawbacks being that is suffers at long ranges and at close ranges it just can’t outdamage a shotgun.

Combat PDW: I feel like that’s a bit of an oxymoron. Anyways, this Personal Defense Weapon comes with a one hundred bullet magazine, and an in built suppressor that doesn’t affect its damage in the slightest. Perfect for when you want to take down opponents with a bit of secrecy. It also does more damage than a majority of the machine guns in the game, meaning that you’re silent and deadly.

Gusenberg Sweeper: Everyone loves a Tommy Gun. Only problem is that its pretty low on ammo given its high rate of fire. Fifty bullets per drum mag doesn’t really get you that far, ultimately. That being said, this thing packs a way better punch than most of the SMGs, meaning that it’s preferable over them, if you can get over the idea of having to reload in the middle of combat. 

Assault Rifle

When you need a bit more range but you still want to be fully automatic, you get the assault rifle. These things pack a heavy punch, but are also highly modifiable. Suppressors, flashlights, scopes, grips. Just about anything you’d want on a gun, you could probably fit onto these bad boys. GTA V has five of these guns, and they’re as follows;

Assault Rifle: An AK-47 in all but name, the generically named Assault Rifle can be upgraded with a hundred round drum magazine and is generally a pretty decent gun at long ranges, but as a standard assault rifle it is meant to be replaced by better weapons over the course of the game. It has lower accuracy and fire rate compared to the other assault rifles because of this. Still, hard to beat the ever reliable AK.

Advanced Rifle: Like a normal rifle, but advanced. This weapon comes with a sixty round extended magazine and, overall, has more going for it than the Assault Rifle. That being said, its lack of decent accuracy is a bit of a problem. There is no grip attachment available, meaning you’re just going to have to get accurate if you want to hit your shots.

Carbine Rifle: Compared to the Advanced Rifle, the Carbine is more accurate, but less powerful. It comes with a sixty round extended mag (a hundred in Online, but Michael has no access to that), and has a high rate of fire. Both a good and a bad thing, considering that means this thing chews through ammo like nobody’s business.

Bullpup Rifle: It’s like the advanced rifle, but a bit less powerful but way faster when it comes to fire rate. Whether or not you want this compared to the Advanced Rifle is just up to personal preference. They both even have the same ammo of sixty bullets per magazine.

Special Carbine: Like a normal Carbine, but special. It does more damage than the basic carbine but it is twice as accurate while also coming with a sixty round extended mag. Even though it claims to be special, there’s not a lot to say about this one.

Sniper Rifles

See that guy way over there? Don’t you want to shoot him? Well, your normal guns won’t make it that far; what you need is a sniper rifle! With these bad boys, you can hit just about anything your eyes can see, and maybe a couple of things they can’t see! Most of them can be equipped with advanced scopes and suppressors, and some can even have unique attachments like night or heat vision. GTA V has three sniper rifles, which include:

Sniper Rifle: With a ten round magazine, this bolt action rifle should be able to pick off most people you see. That being said, it has a very low rate of fire and has a long reload time as well. That being said, with the range that you’re able to pick off bad guys, the reload speed shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Marksman Rifle: Compared to the other rifle, this one is semi-automatic, which means it naturally has a higher rate of fire. However, it has less magnification on its scope, meaning that its range could suffer from this. It does, however, also have more bullets, at sixteen shots per extended mag. You’ll need these shots, though, as the marksman rifle deals much lower damage compared to the other sniper rifles. It’s quantity over quality with this gun.

Heavy Sniper: Though it has less rounds than the standard Sniper Rifle at six shots per mag, this heavy sniper is loaded with .50 cal bullets, meaning that it will more or less tear through anything you put your sights on. Armor piercing means it will go through most material, hitting enemies behind walls or any cover they think might be able to save them. Just watch out for the reload times.

Remote Sniper: Supplied by Martin Madrazo, this weapon is used in one mission only, but it proves to be a pretty valuable weapon. A high tech, remote controlled sniper with the range to hit planes out of the sky, it also comes with a display that shows wind direction and where you would have to shoot to effectively hit a target. While this would be incredibly useful, the weapon gets destroyed at the end of the mission, so it’s far from standard equipment for Michael. It’s only mentioned for posterity’s sake.

Heavy

Sometimes you just want to watch things go boom. That’s what the heavy weapons are for. With only one exception, all of these weapons shoot out high level explosives to destroy their target, leaving a mess of them and anything in their way. Not only can they take out humans, but a vehicle is as good as dead once targeted. Only problem is you’ll move a bit slower with them out, and the reload times can be pretty awful. GTA V has six Heavy weapons. These include:

Minigun: Being able to carry almost ten thousand rounds, the magical thing about this gun is that you don’t even need to reload it. Just aim, pull the trigger and wait for everything in front of you to die. The minigun is great for mowing down vehicles and multiple targets, but on foot you may find it lacking due to the inability to take cover with it.

RPG: Who doesn’t love an RPG. Though highly inaccurate, the missiles that you shoot with this thing means that you don’t have to be accurate; just make sure that you’re aiming in the general direction of what you want dead and fire. If the rocket doesn’t hit dead on, the splash damage should take care of whatever you wanted wiped off the face of the earth.

Fireworks Launcher: Like an RPG, but more patriotic. It’s also weaker, needing a direct hit to kill instantly most of the time. Not worth it for the most part, but it is colorful!

Grenade Launcher: Capable of holding ten grenades at once, the grenade launcher is when you want something blown up, but you really don’t care about accuracy, or you just need to carpet bomb an entire area to make sure nothing’s left standing. This is the only Heavy weapon that doesn’t need to reload every time it’s fired, meaning you can be a bit more liberal with shooting targets without having to worry about being vulnerable. It can also be equipped with a grip and a scope, to help your accuracy even more. Ultimately, a good weapon.

Homing Launcher: Like a normal RPG, except it can home in on things. The homing aspect takes a few seconds to prepare, and it only works on vehicles, so you really need to be in the right scenario to want to use it. That being said nothing stops you from just firing it normally. 

Railgun: An experimental prototype made by the US Army, it was only a matter of time until someone like Michael got his hands on one. Shooting high power rounds at around 2000 m/s, this thing will explode whenever it makes contact with anything. It’s essentially a faster, more accurate RPG, as the travel time of projectiles is greatly lessened.The gun also has an effective range of five hundred meters, giving it heavy long range capabilities. Ideal for vehicles, not so much for singular, human targets.

Throwables

Sometimes shooting things at people just isn’t enough. If you have a good throwing arm, and a couple of explosives, sometimes you just need something to throw at someone. Technically speaking not all of these are throwables, but most of them are. No upgrades available, but you don’t really need to upgrade a grenade, do you? GTA V has seven throwables, and they’re as follows:

Grenade: Simple fragmentation grenades. Pull the pin, throw them, and everything in the vicinity is either dead or about to die. Michael can carry twenty five grenades at any given time, making for a lot of explosions.

Jerry Can: This thing is, like, barely a weapon. I feel like I don’t even see these things in real life. Anyways, this thing just holds a bunch of gas, used to leave fire trails and blow things up from a distance, but slowly. Michael can only carry one.

Molotov: When you want to set things on fire from a distance. A simple bottle, rag, and some flammable liquid. No one’s going to be happy getting hit with that. Michael can carry twenty five of these at any time. 

Proximity Mine: You can put these things down on the ground, wait for someone to walk near it, and it’ll explode. Nice explosive traps you don’t have to keep your eyes on to be effective. Michael can only carry five of these, though.

Sticky Bomb: Explosives that you can throw anywhere and detonate whenever you want. While you’d have to be more attentive of them, they are arguably more effective at applying consistent pressure compared to grenades or Molotov’s, due to detonating wherever you want it to, even in the air. Michael can carry twenty five of these. 

Tear Gas: While in the real world it’s a non-lethal way of clearing crowds, it is decidedly deadly in the world of GTA V. Throw them in an area and force people to clear out or face the deadly consequences. Granted, no one’s likely to die from this, but it’s a good way to flush someone out. Michael can carry 25 of these.

BZ Gas: Used specifically during the jewelry store heist, it’s likely fair to assume Michael could get more of these if he wanted to. Instead of the lethal properties of the tear gas, these will render a human unconscious in a matter of seconds, making them very effective in a fight. Just make sure you don’t get caught in the crossfire. 

Melee Weapons

Sometimes a gun just isn’t enough. Sometimes you want to get up close and personal to the target, and really feel your blood pumping as you pummel them with whatever you can get your hands on. This is where the melee weapons come into play. While these weapons do not beat guns in terms of ranged weapons, they do feel pretty nice to use. Since every melee weapon is more or less just a reskin, sometimes with more effective range on them, I won’t be going into depth with these entries. There are eleven of these weapons in GTA V, and these are:

• Knife

• Bottle

• Hatchet

• Antique Cavalry Dagger

• Baseball Bat

• Crowbar

• Hammer

• Knuckle Dusters

• Golf Club

• Machete

• Nightstick

Tailgater

Michael’s personal vehicle is one that is nice, classy, and overall pretty good, as far as vehicles go. It doesn’t have the fastest top speed in the game, but nothing a couple of tune ups at the garage can’t improve. Overall, it’s pretty on par with most of the sports cars in the game. This car can be improved with armor, making it more resistant to bullets and explosions, and even a turbo booster setting, allowing it to go far above its top speed if desired.

Bati 801RR

Used during the Jewelry store heist, Michael and the gang never seem to actually get rid of these bikes, meaning that he likely still has access to them, should he choose to drive a much faster vehicle. These bikes are some of the fastest in the game, and similar to other vehicles, can be spruced up with armor and the like to make it go even faster and perform even better. It’s also much easier to make drive by’s in these things, compared to a big car.

Cargobob

Another item stolen, and presumably kept, for the specific purposes of a raid on a Merryweather cargo ship, the Cargobob is capable of picking up vehicles right off the ground, thanks to a hook dangling on the underside of the helicopter. On its own, though, the cargobob has no defenses, and isn’t particularly fast or durable, but it’s hard to beat a flying machine that can pick up your car.

Declasse FIB

Stolen in preparation for the jewelry store heist, the Declasse FIB is simply a vehicle used by the boys in blue at the LSPD and, of course, the FIB. Though only stolen for the carbine rifles held inside, there’s no reason to assume Michael couldn’t just drive the things round. It’s probably stored up in a warehouse that Lester owns, after all. It being one of the best performing SUVs in the game is a good enough reason as any to keep it handy.

Minisub

Stolen by Trevor, again, for the Merryweather Heist, this thing is probably not going to be incredibly useful in most situations, but a vehicle that allows for full mobility underwater without the threat of drowning is pretty good. It’s not particularly fast, though, and it’s impossible to use it offensively, but you’re probably not going to be having many confrontations in the water in the first place. Hey, still more sturdy than Oceangate.

Dinghy

Another boat, this one was used during the mission Derailed, which Michael used to get away from some Merryweather goons after, well, derailing their train and stealing a valuable artifact. The dinghy in question comes with a mounted turret on the back, allowing for the passenger, or potentially even the driver, to deliver some returning fire should the situation demand it. Much better than the submarine, at least.

Gauntlet

Another lightning fast muscle car that was stolen for a heist, this time for their raid against the Union Depository. These turbo-tastic vehicles are fast, and they’re strong, having enough horsepower to go full speed even when carrying several dozen gold bars in the trunk. Along with high acceleration, it’s the getaway car that most bank robbers dream of.

Fire Truck

Used for their raid against the FIB building, the Fire Truck is… well, a fire truck. Big enough to ram into other cars without receiving major damage, has the sirens in order to get civilians out of the way, and even comes with a water cannon in order to knock people off their feet. Or uh, stop fires I guess. Yeah, that’s the whole purpose of it.

Police Motorcycle

During the mission I Fought the Law, Michael and Trevor pose as police officers, complete with their own police bikes. These bikes aren’t the fastest, and they’re pretty heavy, but they handle rather well and also come with their own sirens to ensure that civilians get out of the way when they’re pretending to be officers. At least it’s convincing enough to fool most people. I definitely don't see much difference between them.

Barracks

A powerful vehicle used for army transportation, it was stolen for use during the Paleto Bay heist and was, presumably, never given back. It’s not crazy to say Michael still has access to one of these. There’s not a lot to say about it, besides its capacity to carry nine other passengers as well as the driver, meaning that there are plenty of people that can tag along. A big vehicle means a big target, though, and any explosive would chew through this thing.

Parachute

Not a lot to say; a parachute is just what you need when you’re falling off a high place and don’t feel like going splat. While it’ll save you from the fall, if you’re in a combat situation, the slow descent will leave you like a sitting duck.

Body Armor

Available at your local Amm-u-nation, the body armor is a nice kevlar vest that Michael can buy for a pretty penny, giving him what is effectively a second health bar that can take a couple of bullets for him before calling it quits, leaving him with having to buy another one.

Ballistic Equipment

Body armor on steroids, Michael used this suit during the Paleto Bay Heist, and it makes him practically impervious to bullets. They were able to walk through entire waves of police officers thanks to the defense that this suit provides, making it pretty valuable in a firefight. The only problem is that with all that extra bulk, Michael walks considerably slower.

The power armor also allows the player to survive two rocket shots before dying, which is impressive considering what the rocket launcher can do.

Wick

Weapons

What’s a professional hitman without his tools of the trade? John Wick has used plenty of weapons over the course of his movies, and his comic, and the couple of video games he’s been a part of. Listen them all is going to be quite a feat for the blog, so similar to Michael’s portion, we’ll be putting them more or less in one big list with a little blurb about each weapon, instead of a singular entry for each gun, simply because there’s not a lot to talk about for each weapon. So, without further ado;

• Heckler and Koch P30L: The gun that John used throughout almost the entirety of the first movie, making it his most iconic weapon by far. This was the gun that started a legend among action movies. Firing fifteen shots of 9x19mm rounds, the gun comes with a hexagonal compensator for less recoil, when precision is the difference between life and death.

• Glock 26: Used across two movies, this weapon fires 9mm rounds and is fully optimized for conceal carry, making it an effective backup for John if he ever gets disarmed or really wants to take someone by surprise. It’s also used more than his P30L, being used in both the first and second movie. Reliable, for sure!

• Glock 34: Like the previous weapon, but a bigger number. It comes with special enhancements meant for a faster reload, custom porting, and contoured grips. Due to how souped up this gun is, it’s no surprise that it becomes John’s main weapon in the second movie, replacing the P30L that he lost in an unfortunate housefire.

• Kimber Warrior: Received from the Bowry King, John would use this weapon in the climax of the second movie. However, he wasn’t given many bullets for it. He only has seven of them, one bullet per million dollars that was put on his head in the second movie. For a guy like John, though, seven bullets is all he needs to get the job done. 

• TTI STI 2011 Combat Master: Wow that’s a mouthful. This gun was used in the climax of the third movie during the assault on the Continental, recommended to Wick by the staff hand, Charon. The gun holds 22 bullets of 9x19mm, and while it’s an efficient gun, it is notably incapable of piercing through standard High Table body armor.

• Benelli M2 Super 90: Used in the assault on the Continental, this shotgun holds seven slugs in its tubular magazine, allowing for quick shots at close range. While it can’t pierce armor on its own, the special made silver bullets, which John also has access to, do the trick just fine.

• Benelli M4 Super 90: Like the above gun, but double. It’s what’s good for the end of the night. It holds eleven rounds of 12-gauge ammunition, complete with a charging handle, custom bolt release, and a textured grip in case his hands were to get… wet. A fine example of Italian engineering.

• Kel-Tec KSG: A 12-gauge, pump action shotgun that can hold seven bullets in its magazine. It’s mainly shown in Wick’s hidden cache of weapons, but it is also customizable with a laser sight in the VR game.

• MP5K: Though it’s honestly a surprise this hasn’t seen use in the movies, this gun is present in the VR game. It holds thirty rounds, and its big magazine and quick fire rate makes it ideal for close and confined conditions, when other guns might be a bit too slow.

• CA-415: A tactical rifle that packs a heavy punch. It has a shortened barrel for extra power, holographic sight for better accuracy, vertical grip for more control, and it sports a thirty round magazine. It’s probably one of the best guns John has in his disposal just outright, more than capable of mowing down his targets should he need something fully automatic.

• TTI TR-1 Ultralight: Used in the catacombs of Rome (long story on that), this gun is just as good of a rifle as any other. Robust, yet precise. This pretty little number holds thirty rounds in a standard clip, and comes with a scope with adjustable magnification as well as a compensator.

• TTI SIG-Sauer MPX Carbine: Obtained from the Continental weapon vault, the rifle is used in the climax of the third movie. While this weapon is more than capable of killing a man, it’s not very good at actually piercing armor. Of course, push comes to shove, you could just throw it at a guy, but it’s not ideal. 

• DTA Stealth Recon Scout: Stolen from one of Viggo’s men in the first movie, this sniper rifle also makes an appearance in the video games. In the games, it holds five bullets and comes with a thermal scope.

• Grenades: Used in the VR game. Pull the pin and hope everything goes well.

• Incendiary Grenades: When you want a bit of heat with your explosion. Very good at burning down an entire vault’s worth of money.

• Remote Explosives: They do need to be planted ahead of time, but John was able to use these to his advantage to blow up several getaway cars to make sure his target couldn’t get away. He also looked badass while doing it.

• Knives: The go to for many an assassin, John Wick has shown efficiency with both traditional knife fighting and a penchant for throwing knives with pinpoint accuracy.

• Pipe: A metal pipe he uses in the comics. It’s alright.

• Garotte Wire: A stealthy approach to choking out your victim without having to get your hands around their neck. Pretty good for staying hidden.

• Sword: Taken from Zero’s men in order to have a badass sword fight with the guy. Does everything you’d want a sword to do; cut and stab.

• Pencil: He’s killed three guys with a pencil man how the hell do you even do that-

1969 Mustang Boss 429

One of John’s most prized possessions, and one of the things that really kicked off the series of events, this musclecar from the sixties can easily reach up to five hundred horsepower and can catch up with speeding motorcycles and other vehicles with ease. It’s also pretty good at running other people over with. As shown in the second movie, it can also just take one hell of a beating and keep on kicking. It can have most of its exterior smashed up completely and still able to be driven home.

Horse

John Wick killed a guy with a horse okay I get to mention the horse. He can ride this thing or just get it to kick someone in the face to kill them instantly. If not that, they’d at least get a nasty headache. Or be put into a coma. The headache might be worse.

Painkillers

(Trust me, this is the best image there is of it)

Capable of pushing him through all sorts of pain, John was given these by a nice, friendly doctor. He doesn’t meet a lot of friends on his journey. Just taking two of his pills were helping him fight through the pain of his stitches tearing and recent wounds opening up and bleeding all over again.

Bulletproof Suit

The thing that has kept John alive the most is his bulletproof armor. An Italian style suit with tactical lining, the suit does more than just make John look good. In between the fabric and the lining, bulletproof material such as silicon-carbon is included. These materials in the suit are durable enough to stop small caliber bullets in his tracks, but that doesn’t mean he won’t feel the pain of impact. It provides good armor while still being easy to maneuver in, an important trait if you’re doing even half the things Wick does on the regular.

Abilities 

Michael

Area Kill

Yes, apparently that is what the special ability is called

The thing that made GTA V unique, besides it’s three protagonists, was the fact that each of them had a special ability, in order to further differentiate them during gameplay. For Michael, this would manifest in an ability called Area Kill. Whether it’s due to adrenaline or just locking the fuck in, Michael is capable of entering a bullet-time like mode where everything around him is slowed down. It’s less that everything else moves slow and more so that Michael’s perception of time is greatly lowered. He’s just as slow as everything else around him, he can just process it a little bit easier.

Michael can use this ability to get the advantage in shootouts, whether that be aiming his shot and firing quicker than an adversary, or using it to get a better view of the situation he’s in, or potentially move away from where someone is firing, or going to fire. The mode is incredibly useful, but it can only last for thirty seconds at max, and to regain usage of his ability he would have to actually land his shots against a target, meaning that particularly messy firing could mean that he’s out of his power for the rest of the fight.

Wick

Martial Arts

John Wick is an extremely competent martial artist, able to take on multiple men in a brawl without breaking a sweat or losing his focus. This extends later on to fully trained ninjas, mob bodyguards, and even other assassins that can rival his training and experience. Just based off the moves that he’s displayed in the movies, we can determine that Wick’s fighting style is a blend of Judo, Brazilian and Japanese Jiu-Jitsu, Aikido, Sambo and, most importantly, Gun-Fu. John is able to seamlessly incorporate his gunplay into his martial arts, going from throwing people over his shoulder to shooting them in the chest in mere moments. It’s fair to say that John likely has a mastery of all of these martial arts, and simply combines them on the fly based off what’s best for any given moment.

Martial arts does seem to be his go-to as well. In the beginning of the second movie, he clears out an entire garage almost completely via the use of his martial arts. We’re talking dozens of mobsters, all taken down by one guy and his immense skills.

Superhuman Endurance

John Wick, to put it bluntly, goes through hell in these movies. Getting shot, getting stabbed, falling off a building, falling down flights of stairs, getting shot some more, getting punched, kicked, tortured. He’s basically gone through every terrible thing a person could go through, and he just keeps on kicking. It’s almost like, in that sense, he isn’t completely human. It’s important to remember that the first three movies in the John Wick quadrilogy take place in about a week, so John was fighting even through all of these grievous wounds he has taken over the course of these movies, and even traveling through the desert while powering through them.

Even during the course of these movies its noted that he should probably rest, otherwise his condition would get worse, but Wick fights through the pain all the same, never faltering even though he’s been stabbed, stitched back up, and had those stitches rupture not too long after. While maybe not an explicitly superhuman ability, it’s something to take note of.

Feats 

Michael

Overall

• Became one of the most notorious criminals in the Midwest.

• Successfully faked his death, fooling the FIB and his former colleagues.

• Saved the world by stealing a biological superweapon from the government.

• Made amends with his psychotic working partner Trevor, and his protoge Franklin

• Became a respected and famous movie producer in the Vinewood industries.

• Successfully robbed the Union Depository, finally accomplishing “The Big One”.

• Won back the respect of his family, the love of his life, and the life that makes him happy.

Strength/Destructive Power

• Beats the hell out of Simeon Yetarian

• Smashed Jimmy's TV with a chair

• Lifts a man by the neck and throws him off a boat

• Chokes out a coroner after being knocked out

• Can lift a grown man with one arm and still fire a gun with the other

• Beats up Rocco, a rather well built, younger man

• Pushes a metal gate while underwater

• Can knock out the other protagonists with just one punch

• Can beat up genuinely ripped bodyguards in a few punches

• in-universe RPGs can destroy prison gates (.026-.045 tons)

Speed/Agility

• Is capable of avoiding surface to air missiles while piloting

Durability

• Survived a nasty car crash when a train hit their getaway car

• Took a bat swing from Martin Madrazo

• Takes a pistol whip from a Merryweather officer

Wick

Overall

• Was able to successfully leave his life working under the table

• Did a task for the Tarasov Mob that everyone thought impossible

• Filled the New York street with bodies on his quest for revenge

• Dealt a major blow to the Tarasov Mob

• Snuck into Roman Catacombs to assassinate a sitting member of the High Table

• Made it through New York with a seven million dollar bounty on his head

• Defeated Zero and his ninjas

• Walked through the desert in order to find The One who Sits Above the Table

• Successfully defended the New York Continental from a raid by High Table authorities

• Defeated the Three Bills Gang.

Strength

• Snaps a man’s neck with a single karate chop

• Throws a man through a sliding glass door

• Throws Ms Perkins through a glass bedframe

• Stabs men with a pencil repeatedly

• Fights back and briefly overpowers a man much taller than him

• Slams Zero's students through a glass floor (3.9 MJ)

• Throws a man a fair distance

• Throws a man into another man

Speed

• Gets out of a car moments before it falls off a ledge

• Leapt over cars and fence as a child

• Dodges bullets

• Leaps over a turned over car

• Disappears in front of Zero (11.36 m/s)

• Dodged a bullet (241 m/s)

• John moves in tandem with a bullet (69.78 m/s)

Durability

• Gets slammed through glass by an assassin (18 KJ)

• Takes hits from Zero’s students, who can break glass (2.96 MJ)

• Survived the explosion that blew up his house

• Tumbles down a lot of stairs alongside Cassius

• Falls from the rooftop of the Continental and survives, though just barely.

Scaling

Michael

Franklin and Trevor

This one’s pretty simple; they’re both protagonists of the same game and they can fight the same enemies as each other. They constantly work together and they’re constantly implied to be more or less on equal footing.

• Trevor killed Johnny Klebitz with ease, although Johnny was very weak at this point.

• Trevor knocks out an athletic man with one punch

• Trevor lifts a man over his head and throws him off a bridge

• Trevor survives a long fall into a body of water below

• Trevor (maybe?) moves in tandem with a bullet

• Trevor pushes a cart full of gold bars that would easily weigh over hundreds of pounds

• While obviously these carts have wheels on them, there should be over a hundred gold bars in these, meaning they are over a thousand pounds.

• Franklin jumps from one car to a boat

• Franklin takes a car crash strong enough to fragment a stone fence

• All GTA V protagonists can survive getting hit by cars going highway speeds (31 KJ)

GTA Online Protagonist

A lot of the same stuff applies here. Though they hadn’t met each other for most of GTA Online’s lifespan, the player gets along with people like Franklin and Trevor, and fights many of the same people that the protagonists do without breaking a sweat.

• Dodges bullets by jumping over a short wall

• Moves out of the way of a speeding car

• Should be superior to someone who moved in tandem with a rocket launcher

HD Universe Protagonists

The GTA series is split into a few different timelines. Michael just so happens to fall into the HD timeline, which is everything from 4 onward, in terms of release date. Not only should everyone in the series scale to each other simply because they’re human, but they also fight a lot of the same enemies. Mainly, the Lost MC is a recurring force in both 4 and V, and the same can be said in GTA Chinatown.

• Johnny falls a decent height onto his feet and keeps moving

• Niko can kick open a triple locked door

• Niko breaks a man's arm with a punch

• Niko overpowers Brucie, a man who can bench press 450 and do 2,000 sit-ups in a day

• GTA 4 protagonists can survive car crashes at max speed

• They can also survive massive falls into water

• Niko can survive close range grenade explosions

• Luis Lopez is fine after a grenade blew up the plane he was in 

• Huang Lee can survive shots that can destroy a park bench. (844 KJ)

• Huang can also survive helicopter missiles

Wick

Other Assassins

John Wick is just about the greatest assassin his universe has ever seen. So much so that other hardened criminals fear him, and just about everyone who works under the table knows his name. It makes sense, then, that he should be comparable to all of them, if not superior to some unknown degree. We’ll be talking about a few things these people can do, but most of the good feats go to John, so this won’t be too long of a list.

• Chidi blocks an arrow (47.67 m/s)

• Calamity dodges bullets

• Cassian avoids close range gunfire from John

• Ballerina withstood an explosion that blew a hole in a wall

Weaknesses

Michael

Michael’s main weakness, besides being remarked as out of shape within the game’s story, are his anger issues and his rash personality. His anger and mood swings often cause him to make decisions on the fly, which lead him to pretty terrible situations. It’s what starts the problems with Madrazo in the first place, kicking off the rest of the game entirely. Throughout the game he has a deep hatred for himself that he is only just learning to get past by the end of the game. 

Wick

John Wick has been retired for five years, and while that doesn’t seem to hinder him too much, he has gotten notably less efficient if we’re to take the word of other characters. His prime was when he first entered the criminal world, and since then he has gotten slower. While his endurance is impressive, Wick will use it as a bit of a crutch sometimes and keep fighting through pain he should absolutely not ignore. His tendency to get the mission done no matter what, combined with what are seemingly intense anger issues, lead him to making rash decisions, such as when he killed Antonio on Continental grounds.

The Verdict

Physicality

First up is their stats. Obviously, both of these characters are going to die if they get shot in the right place, so stats aren’t going to be quite as important as they would in a less grounded matchup, but even then, they’re still important to talk about. After all, stats determine reflexes, and in both a gunfight and a fistfight, it’ll be a major factor.

First, let’s talk strength and durability. Both of these characters can break down doors, beat trained combatants to death, and survive being put through all kinds of punishment. In that regard, Michael’s best direct feat would be the ability to survive being hit by a car, which comes out to about 31 Kilojoules of energy. With scaling, however, that number can be pushed even higher. Huang Lee, a protagonist in the HD universe, can survive shots capable of destroying park benches, which would give him a durability of about 844 Kilojoules, a whopping 27 times stronger.

That being said, it should be noted that Huang and Michael have never interacted, and while they should in all likelihood be in the same ballpark, it’s hard to say how exactly they would compare.

On the other end of things, how does John hold up? Well, pretty well, actually. He can survive being slammed through glass at 18 Kilojoules of energy, which would be a little over half Michael’s direct feats, and far below Huang’s. However, that’s not the only kind of glass he’s broken. During his fight with Zero and his students, John repeatedly broke bulletproof glass, and could take hits from people capable of doing the same. Those feats come out to about 3.9 and 2.96 Megajoules, over four times stronger than Huang’s best. 

Now, that of course doesn’t tell the full story. The protagonists of GTA V can one-shot eachother if they’re angry enough, which would imply that getting angry enough would allow Michael to narrow that gap, but it’s obvious that John has an advantage in strength, and certainly in durability.

On the other hand, Speed is a little more decisive. Michael is for the most part a regular guy on the speed side of things, although his ability to slow his perception of time can definitely give him a boost in that respect. Wick, however, has him very firmly beat in this category. Even lower-tier assassins like Chidi can catch arrows, and John himself has dodged bullets and even moved partially in tandem with them before. This would put his speed around 241 Meters Per Second, or .7 times the speed of sound.

To put that into perspective, the fastest punch ever thrown was recorded at 45 miles per hour, or 20.1 meters per second. Even if we assumed that Michael had the combat speed of the fastest punches ever, Wick would still be 12 times faster. Obviously, with Michael’s Area Kill, he’s fast enough to perceive the movement of rockets, which can go as fast as .9 times the speed of sound, so this brings into question that he should get the advantage here, right?

While this should give him a speed advantage in theory, some things must be kept in mind. First of all, this doesn’t actually increase Michael’s movement speed beyond just his ability to aim. He still isn’t able to dodge bullets, whereas John is fast enough to actually do so, and his actual movement speed is still slower than those rockets. This means that John will be able to avoid the majority of Michael's shots, and a well-aimed shot from him would still be just as lethal.

Another thing to keep in mind is that he can only keep up the Area Kill for 30 seconds max. It isn’t a perfect ability, giving him a very narrow window for which he’s able to close the gap at all. Additionally, Wick has also shown more often than not that he can still keep up with and dodge shots from other lethal assassins that are naturally at his speed, for longer periods of time than a mere 30 seconds. The third fact is that it’s also not a passive ability. It has to be manually activated through focus, and by that point John’s 12x advantage in reaction time basically ensures he’s going to get first shots off.

A final nail in the coffin for this feat is that rockets in this universe just… aren’t that fast. If we’re to take gameplay stats into account, rockets only travel at about 60 m/s, a full four times slower than John’s best reactions. That’s around 134 miles per hour, which is much more consistent with Michael’s inability to perceive bullets using the same ability.

Overall, the numbers paint a pretty clear picture. In a fistfight, John is going to be significantly stronger, especially thanks to his incredible stamina and endurance. While Michael can close that strength gap by getting angry, that can’t make up for the sheer difference in speed and reflexes. While Wick won’t be running circles around his opponent or anything, he’ll certainly be the one to shoot first, even with the addition of Area Kill. Stats go to John Wick.

So, John is stronger and faster when it comes to blows, but this isn’t any mere fistfight. This is a gunfight, with firearms and vehicles alike to talk about. 

Obviously, neither of these two really have any outwardly supernatural abilities, with anything they might have generally just coming down to focus, commitment, and sheer fucking will. So to determine who takes this category, we really have to look at their Arsenal.

Arsenal

In terms of what both of them bring to the table, they both have a lot of very similar weapons in their loadout. Handguns, machineguns, shotguns, sniper rifles, explosives, melee weapons, all that good stuff. On a gun-to-gun basis, John likely has an advantage in quality over Michael. His weapons tend to have various custom modifications or are otherwise made by professional assassins, after all. On the other hand, though, Michael has far more quantity, having used plenty more different weapons than John over his tenure in Los Santos.

Where you branch beyond their regular weapons, though, is where things start to fall into place. John mostly has a pretty grounded arsenal, with a couple exceptions like remote-detonated explosives Michael doesn’t have, or his good old bulletproof vest, which can definitely help in a gunfight with how much punishment it’s taken over the years. That said, the sheer quantity of bullshit that Michael can bring to the table definitely gives him some weirder, wackier weapons to push him ahead.

First of all, vehicles. John has used horses, motorcycles, and cars over his tenure, but Michael’s got your standard vehicles and then some, with things like a submarine and helicopter under his belt. Don’t get us wrong, Wick’s mustang absolutely mogs most GTA cars in terms of style, but it’s gotten wrecked more often than not, and Michael’s able to modify his cars with things like armor and turbo boosters, so if it came down to wheels, he’d definitely have the advantage.

The top-of-the-line when it comes to his weaponry also surpasses Wick’s, with things like knockout gas, a minigun, rocket and grenade launchers, and even a fucking railgun! Heavier explosive weaponry in the GTA universe can destroy prison garage doors. Assuming a steel composition, that would place Michael’s heaviest weaponry anywhere from .026 to .045 Tons of TNT. Definitely more than strong enough to kill John in one hit if he gets a good shot in. And his ballistic armor can even survive a shot from those, so even if John were to get his hands on some of Michael’s heavier ordinance, it wouldn’t be enough to do the same back.

All that being said, I don’t think Michael’s arsenal is as big of a win condition as it appears. The railgun, for example, appears to be an instant win button. It fires faster than John can move, and it has power on par with the rocket launchers, so it should be an easy win, right? Well, if he can land a shot, yes. But that applies to both combatants here. The railgun also has a notably large reload time, giving John a window to exploit with his much faster speed. When it actually comes down to it, it really isn’t all that different from say, a sniper rifle. Other heavy weapons like the rocket launcher are strong enough to one-shot Wick on a hit, but their much slower speed makes them easier to avoid as well.

Another point to note is that Michael can only do so much. Having a minigun, fireworks launcher, and railgun are all great, but he’s still just one guy. When it comes down to it, the two of them can really only have so many weapons shooting at each other at once. Similarly, while his vehicles do generally outclass Wick’s, he can still only ever drive one of them at once. Given how much of a master Wick is at improvising weaponry or even just taking it off of his enemies, anything Michael brings out could very well be used against him. 

Even so, the sheer variety of options he has does give him more tools to work with than Wick. There’s no doubt about this one. Michael De Santa takes Arsenal.

So, Michael is coming into battle packing better heat, but when it comes to a fight, John has the advantage in strength and speed. Both of them have avenues to take down the other, but it’s a matter of who’s going to get that winning shot off first. And that’s going to come down to their skill, their mentality, and their fighting style. So, let’s talk about it.

Mentality

There’s no doubt that Michael is one of the deadliest men in Los Santos. He’s got decades of experience as a criminal, has planned all manner of heists, and taken on other criminal groups like the Triad, the Ballas, and the police! Not to mention, when it comes to gunplay, Michael’s aim and shooting are easily the best of the three GTA V Protagonists. He’s fended off mercenaries from invading his home while protecting his family members, and he’s able to make shots even while tied up, heavily injured, or dangling hundreds of feet in the air.

Make no mistake, Michael de Santa is the kind of man you don’t want to cross. 

Unfortunately, he’s dealing with John Wick.

Pretty much everything above can also apply to John. While he’s not as much of a planner as Michael is, he’s shown time and time again he can setup ahead of time for a good assassination, leaving guns in hidden alcoves just to make sure he gets the drop on pursuers, like he did in the second movie. Not to mention, he’s wiped out entire criminal gangs entirely on his own even while rusty, and taken down a squad of mercenaries invading his home without ever getting shot. 

Michael is obviously a trained combatant, but not to the same degree by any means, with Wick being a master of multiple martial arts. While he can use improvised weapons like flashlights and bottles, those mostly amount to “hit the other guy hard”, compared to John’s ability to kill multiple people with a pencil (A fucking pencil!). Besides, fighting and winning against other trained hitmen and assassins while injured and exhausted is kind of John’s thing, and he’s taken on far worse than gang members and cops at this point. It really bears mentioning that everything John did throughout the first three movies was done while he had been stabbed and shot repeatedly, and in a Death Battle scenario, we take combatants at their prime. 

When it comes to tertiary skill factors, John would also be able to very easily sneak around and get the drop on Michael, who doesn’t have any ways to easily detect him during this. I mean, he was able to sneak up on an actual ninja. 

A notable factor to also consider is their defenses, and how they affect the other’s movement. John’s bulletproof suit has more coverage across his body than Michael’s kevlar vest, and while Michael certainly has a defense advantage with the bomb armor, it comes at the great cost of maneuverability, something that John’s suit doesn’t sacrifice on. And in Parabellum, John’s even dealt with more agile foes bearing those same protective suits. His weapons weren’t working on them at all, but he was still able to get the edge on them in close combat, and fire into the small gaps in their armor at close range. Putting on ballistic armor would basically make Michael a sitting duck more than anything, and John is more than skilled enough to land extremely precise shots to bypass his bulletproof vest.

And that ties into the final nail in the coffin: Their mentality. As stated time and time again both in this blog and in canon. John Wick is nothing if not focused and committed. When it comes down to it, he’s always able to keep a cool head, even when he’s on the backfoot. On the other hand, Michael has a much more notable temper, and is prone to poor in-the-moment decision making and impulses. This is NOT something you want to be dealing with when fighting an assassin like Wick, and something that can very easily be taken advantage of by John’s more level head. 

For all of his arsenal and firepower, when it comes down to it, Michael isn’t going to be the one that controls the flow of battle. John has significantly more skill, and his ability to leverage that means he can turn Michael’s own advantages against him. 

The final, decisive edge in skill goes to John Wick.

Summary

John Wick 

Advantages: 

• Stronger at first…

• Significantly faster

• Much more skilled

• Superior stamina and durability

• Bulletproof suit gives better maneuverability than ballistic armor

• Better stealth

• More level-headed

Disadvantages:

• …But Michael can close that gap

• Arsenal is more grounded

• Less firepower overall

Michael De Santa

Advantages: 

• Better and more vehicles

• Wider, somewhat weirder arsenal

• Rocket Launchers could one-shot Wick if they hit…

• Can close the strength gap with rage

• Ballistic Armor could protect him from most of John’s arsenal…

Disadvantages:

• …But Wick has more than sufficient reflexes to dodge rockets

• Weaker initially

• Less durable overall

• Easier to sneak up on

• Poor temper

• Not nearly as skilled

• …But it slows him down enough to make it a detriment

• Can’t dodge bullets

This was a close fight, and one good shot from either of them would have been enough to en in d it. Given his bullet-time ability and his more varied arsenal of weapons and vehicles, there’s certainly situations in which Michael would score a win. Unfortunately, the opponent he’s facing is one who’s much faster, more maneuverable, and more skilled. Michael is a criminal and thief who’s done plenty of fighting on his own, but John is a fighter by nature. And while Michael does have a more varied arsenal, when you actually break it down and look at what all of it does, very little of it is something John hasn’t already seen before, with only a couple exceptions like the railgun, but even that isn’t really all that different when it comes down to it.

Michael is reliant on very narrow timeframes and single-shot weapons to have his best chance at victory, but his short temper and John’s far greater skill and stealth means that’s just simply less likely to happen than John getting one good shot in. 

Michael may have packed more Parabellum, but against Baba Yaga, his chances of victory went to the dogs.

…I don’t know, coming up with a pun for this one was actually really fucking hard, man

The winner is John Wick.

Vote Tally

Team Michael: 1 (JackyTheWannabe (Michael’s Strongest Soldier))

Team Wick: 2 (NinetailsSaturn, Doot)

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